Soul Flares Community Journal

I am amazed at how having never met we seem to be on a parallel journey… but then this must be true of each us and how often in our busy and angry moments we forget this….

I just read of your 10 month depression am reminded of my own battles and times in my life when I, like the air so laden with moisture have no recourse but to rain down; suddenly come to know I am awakening, as if from a coma and thus am able to return to myself…… A teacher of truths once told me to not fear being consumed by my sadness or fears or whatever those feelings might be but to simply sit with them and allow them their time - that it is in this honoring of what is - and only then that we can begin to move forward…… It is your courageous voice shared in the Nether spaces that finds my heart, strengths and fears and gently coaxes them from the fear filled hiding spaces…. As if after a Lifetime of living amongst those that condemn and have no means of understanding me but are all too often willing to tell me what it is I must do I am suddenly free and again embraced by others of my own kind!

Blessed be:

Twigwoman

I so enjoy reading your Letters from an Open Heart and the one from the 15th is especially powerful and moving. I was reaching adulthood during the transition period from the late 60’s – early 70’s, and so when I tell you that most of the girls I graduated from high school with wanted to go to college, not to earn a degree – although if they did, that was fine – but because that’s where the educated boys were going to be, and they wanted to be sure to “tag” theirs early, so that once these “boys” graduated and secured the good paying jobs, these girls/women would already be in place, as it were. (When I first told my then teen-aged daughter this story, she thought I was making it up.)My point is that women have been taught (maybe it’s even in our genes – scary thought, that) that our own “true selves,” if we even knew what that was, wasn’t enough to get a man, let alone keep him. And that was our sole purpose in life – to get a man, have babies, keep the man, or at least keep the house and the car….So we all played roles, and over time, these roles, these faces, became so engrained that I’m not sure but these roles became “real” – I’m thinking Velveteen Rabbit, here – but the persons we were most hiding from were ourselves. Certain emotions were encouraged, others discouraged – anger for one – and now that we’re told that it’s ok, we can come out of the closet (figuratively and literally), we feel a bit like the emperor who’s just discovered he’s naked. The good news is we can explore our authentic selves and start to reveal them (see, I’ve re-read this sentence, and it sounds as if we have someone’s permission, and that bothers me), but I also think some of us need to do this slowly…while other women may want to do this process quickly – my analogy here is carefully soaking and removing a bandage as opposed to just ripping it off…the bad news is that this self-revelation is painful, and our loved ones may not understand or even want to understand.

In your case, Annie, I think you’ve been blessed with someone who does understand and seems willing to stand by your side while your metamorphoses is happening…finally, I just want to remind you that none of us is perfect, and no relationship is, either. And, it may be that you’re thinking too much instead of simply living your life, each day, as best you can, knowing that you’ll make mistakes but you’ll also bring vast amounts of joy to many people’s lives. Thanks for sharing, Annie.

Chris

In response to Letters from an Open Heart 8-29-07

I think we must be adrift in the same currents. It’s sort of like living inside one of one of those paperweights where if you shake it up it snows. Except the girl inside your paperweight broke loose from her moorings and she might as well just be another snowflake.

So far, the only thing I can report from inside the globe is I’ve been afraid. ALOT. The pieces of my life are still swirling all around me, but  nothing bad has happened yet. Really, there’s a small, still, solid part of me that trusts it all. Probably because I’m the one who shook the
paperweight in the first place.

peace-out chick, Kim Waxler

In response to Letters from an Open Heart 8-29-07

Doubts are good, for when we doubt we investigate more into our endeavors and we let our questions examine every angle of our choices, and then the current comes more forcefully and washes away our doubts as we plunge into the present moment whole heartedly. We realize that all we doubted is answered.

Saying YES to the endeavors with our heart… we become the fool who walks to all the places that those who think, will avoid. We risk to learn, to experience even those places that are unknown or scary to most but being a ‘fool’ allows us to go further, reach deeper, endeavor even without destination and BE like a hummingbird into all directions….

We are the ones who create footprints to live life ‘authentically’ We learn as we go… and that is life being created by each breath, not following any specific regimen or belief or system, or ‘ism’… we are the new prototype for the YIN energy, receiving, allowing, opening, and giving birth to ourselves, Feeling and becoming a sharp, clear, magnificent ‘radar’ with our heart open.

Love
Misha

Dear Annie,

I had to respond to your recent letter revealing that you felt you did not know how to be a woman.

One of things I most appreciated by what you brought to Heron Dance was a strong sense of the feminine…the sensitivity, the vitality, the compassion, etc.

Truly you are a real woman, not the domesticated caricature this culture has made of womanhood.

It’s time to reread Clarissa Pinkola Estes book, Women Who Run with the Wolves. You are a wild woman…thank God that you never lost connection with that wildness that loves natures and is nurtured by it.

Here are some quotes from Women Who Run with the Wolves that I recently used in a workshop.
I hope they inspire you to go back to the source to lap up some sustenance and confidence!

Wishing you all the best in your journey forward,
Jan

Clarissa Pinkola Estés’s book Women Who Run with the Wolves is a long treatise on why we need to be in touch with our wild natures and how it fuels our lives.

So what is the Wild Woman? See pages 13-14

This wolf-woman Self must have freedom to move, to speak, to be angry, and to create. This Self is durable, resilient, and possessed high intuition. It is a Self which is knowledgeable in the spiritual dealings of death and birth. p. 36

The tasks of this time are: Learning even more mindfully to let go of the overly positive mother. Finding that being good, being sweet, being nice will not cause life to sing. (Vasalisa becomes a slave, but it does not help.) Experiencing directly one’s own shadow nature, particularly the exclusionary, jealous, and exploitative aspects of self. Owning these. Making the best relationship one can with the worst parts of oneself. Letting the pressure build between who one is taught to be and who one really is. Ultimately working toward letting the old self die and the new intuitive self be born. p. 85

When I speak of over domestication as capture, I do not refer to socialization, the process whereby children are taught to behave in more or less civilized ways. Social development is critical and important. Without it, a woman cannot make her way in the world.
But too much domestication is like forbidding the vital essence to dance. In its proper and healthy state, the wild self is not docile or vacuous. It is alert and responsive to any given movement or moment. It is not locked into an absolute and repetitive pattern for any and all circumstances. It has creative choice. The instinct-injured woman has no choice. She just stays stuck. p. 233

When we think of reclamation it may bring to mind bulldozers or carpenters, the restoration of an old structure, and that is the modern usage of the word. However, the older meaning is this: The word reclamation is derived from the old French reclaimer, meaning “To call back the hawk which has been let fly.” Yes, to cause something of the wild to return when it is called. It is therefore by its meaning an excellent word for us. We are using the voices of our minds, our lives, and our souls to call back intuition, imagination; to call back the Wild Woman. And she comes.
p. 459.

It’s 3:15pm and the sun has just made its first appearance of the day!  It was supposed to be 97 today.  I don’t know what it is right now, but it was 78 around noon time.  So, I’ve had the most delicious day….a surprise gift here in the middle of July’s Sacramento Valley heat.  Besides my usual morning routine of watering & cleaning the pool, it was cool enough to pick peaches and nectarines, plant a couple of plants, fix a sprinkler head, & create a landscape design for the newly opened up area beside the garage.  After savoring my yummy picnic lunch of homegrown (not mine) tomatoes, basil and mozzarella with a glass of sun tea, I comfortably sat out on the deck reading a book, interrupted only by the occasional Nuttall woodpecker’s trill, a couple of hummers feeding on the lantana and a flock of bushtits at arm’s length, gleaning savory treats from my great-grandmother’s hibiscus.  Then back to reading my book.  To my amazement I was distracted by the sound of……..what, could that be raindrops???  Circles of ripples in the pool water confirmed what my ears had told me.  A wide smile broke over my face and into my heart.  My nose searched, sniffing for my favorite smell of earth after a nurturing rain.  I sat and listened to the raindrops falling on the canopy and watched not only the concentric rings of energy in the pool, but suddenly the oaks were alive with birds….woodpeckers, nuthatches, robins, bluebirds, titmice, finches, towhees.  They were loving this, too!  I walked out on the lower deck to join them and feel the liquid drops melt on my skin.  I felt like a kid again, wishing for more, more.  What a wonderful, delicious gift here in the peak of our perpetually sunny summer.

The cloud-covered sky, I noticed, was creating some interesting light so I ran inside and got the camera.  While I was watching the circles of ripples merge & connect in the pool, the reflection of the oak trees in the water captured my attention. I photographed them as well as the numerous birds that were feeding and delighting in the oak trees.  My senses were on high alert, and the inspiration struck me to fashion a bird blind for taking photos at the in-ground bird bath.  Can’t wait to download those photos.

Small treasures, sensory pleasures, a delicious day, an inspired and grateful heart.

To know when you have enough is to be rich beyond measure.  ~ Lao-Tzu

Lesa McDonald Chan

www.climatecrisis.net

Though the month is nearly up, and the writings of Totem animals almost ended, I thought I would share this with you regardless. I had the wondrous experience of an adult heron bring her young to the area where I stood photographing them as the juvenile was being coaxed to fly and taught to fish. I was a moment of total awe. The juvenile approached with caution, but eventually came up to me and placed its head against my arm allowing me stroke her neck. The adult stood off to the side and observed carefully, but seemed at ease as the connection between her young and myself occurred.
I named the juvenile “Shasa” meaning precious waters, and the parent “Solana” meaning from winds of the east. Just wanted to share two of the photos with you.
Blessings,
Robin

This is from my sister Susie…

Today I journeyed with the card, The Keeper of the Letters and met a sun faced young man named Ogma. There was a circle of 7 stones and on each stone there was a message. They are for all of us

You are the gift of blissful perfection

We send our blessings to you, wise one

There is a salve in the suffering

Open your arms to wealth/riches

All is one

You are the gift

All Blessings to you.

Yes.. dear ones all. All Blessings to you. Amen!

Here is a note I recently received from a Soul Flares reader that moved me.

As you know I am retired on disability and fighting chronic depression. For the past several years I have been looking for some activity to nourish my soul. I am finally very happy to report I have “come home” to where I should have been all the time.

I an volunteering at a bird sanctuary that rehabs injured abused and unwanted wildlife and pets. I mostly work with about 120 parrots of all types and with farm fowl. I am in my glory being pecked by parrots, roughed up by roosters, and of course goosed by geese. A cockatoo named Benita sits on my shoulder as I do my chores. She says, “Hello, I love you” We are close buddies as long as I”ve got treats for her.

My depression has improved a lot and I’m looking forward again. Your newsletters have kept me going during the dark days, thank you, Heres the link, I think you will find it interesting!
www.birdparadise.org

Geoff Little

What is hard is that this is lonely work. I feel somewhat like a mad spiritualist. My husband kept up with me for awhile, but he got tired, and he hasn’t been doing this as long as I have. And I try to remember that one man can’t be the container for everything that is pouring out of me and then I remember (funny how it is the last truth that never changes) — only I can create what I was put here to create and all this anger and restlessness and vagueness comes from shame for staying tight as a bud when daily I am being asked to blossom.- Angela, Wild Soul Workshop Alumnus