Why a Blog?
Apr 8th, 2007 by Annie
The poet Yevushenko said that the most beautiful, aching work in the world is to be yourself. I suppose I write in order to live—in the best sense of that word—to find out what I am. - Harry Crews
Ever since I went away to camp when I was eight years old I have enjoyed writing letters. In them I could tell my story uninterrupted. Being the youngest of seven children, that would be a rare and wonderful thing.
I am old enough now to understand the power of writing for its own sake. But… I discover more about myself when I write words to be shared.
When I write something to be read by others I take the utmost care in my writing. I read it over and over, looking for half-truths and exaggerations. I try hard to be as honest, open, and articulate at I can. Paradoxically, when I write in a diary at home I am less honest, less careful. It has always been this way with me.
This Wild Soul Journal is my way of exploring my own nature – as I write, some of the mysteries about me and life unfold. I hope my words help in some way with your journey.
I ask that you approach my words with an open mind and compassion. Some things I write will not reflect that well on me. But by looking dispassionately at all of me I learn acceptance and true self-love. Enjoy. I hope some of my words are of benefit.
We can copy others, we can live to please others, or we can discover that which is unique and precious to us, and paint that, become that. It is a task which takes a lifetime.
- Carl Rogers, from Freedom to Learn for the 80’s
I am gay…and wouldn’t/couldn’t say that out loud until I was 58 years old. At that point, it meant leaving a 30 year marriage and 3 children, who were grown but still wanted “Mom” to be the mom they knew - not this new person who didn’t even know herself. I’m now nearly 66 and am still scratching the service of who I am. I even have a piece of me that thinks I could be transgendered and I have no idea of where or how to fit that in my life. My journey has included counseling, workshops of all kinds, rebirthing experiences, journal writing, conversations, tarot readings, channeling, a 3-year weekly chat room with an old high school buddy, Heron Dance and now Soul Flares. It all matters and has kept my feet on the path. Annie’s honesty and ability to share her own journey is a blessing. All of us who search for our highest selves - our true selves - need the community of other seeking souls. For that I’m grateful to Annie and Soul Flares. The details are different but the seeking is the same. Onward!
I just recently found Herondance and Annie over the summer of ‘06. I purchased a card that had one of Rod’s paintings on it and the herondance website was printed on the back. I went online and have been inspired by the both of you ever since. It sounds silly, but I look forward to the emails that I receive as if they are coming from old friends. I was saddened by your split, but see that is bearing fruit for you both even though it has been so difficult. At 44 years old, I too feel that shift into needing to be more truly myself. I have given so many years of my life to my children and my husband. I also realize that I went right from being a child to being a wife and mother. Something inside of me is yearning and longing, but I don’t know quite what for. I love the seeker’s journey and feel that now I have met people who speak the same heart language that I do. It is so encouraging and refreshing to see someone be so honest and vulnerable. It is making it easier to be more willing to be that way myself, to sit with those feelings and experiences without having to push them away, bury them or run. Almost every time I read your writings, I feel like crying. It taps into that wellspring of emotion (joy as well as sorrow) of creativity, of life, of feeling that so often I try to suppress in my daily life. Thank you Annie. I look forward to journeying with you, and also someday hope to join in one of your Wild Soul workshops. Keep me on your journal mailing list!!! Jennifer
Annie,
I’m always amazed at the insight to be gained from reading (and re-reading) the voice that emerges when I write. It seems so much clearer than all the thoughts that jumble and bumble around in my head. Sometimes I read what I’ve written and think, “Oh, that’s exactly what I think and feel about that, but I couldn’t seem to say it out loud.” Writing is somehow different. As if my brain can travel straight to my fingertips and capture everything I’ve been holding in my soul. Every time I read one of your entries I see you, and myself, more clearly. This is a great blessing. Thank you so much for living your life out loud.
Namaste,
Merri
I am 58 years, soon to be 59, and my LIFE goes on. Divorced now for 5 years, and taking on a boyfriend for 3. I have been in recovery for drugs and alcohol now for 27 years, lapsing back and forth trying desperately to find myself… I know I will have wings someday, and i keep looking, seeking, and hooking up with friends that make me feel real about myself. I became tired of struggling with the constant changes that I brought into my life with substances. I reaped the sad consequences of losing a lover, jobs galore, and my own sanity. I read and focused midfullness on this blog, and the truthfullness expressed here. Women are so strong and forthright with honesty.
Having been unemployed now for a month I move forward with hope, dreams and aspirations of being the best I can each day. I will never give up! I have the fortitude of saints and prophets who have gone before me. The only disappointment I have today is that it took me so long to get here. I know as Annie said, “Ive been here many times before” and I want to make it right this time around.
Blessings and Love to All,
Sharyn
Dear Annie,
having you followed all these years starting with Heron Dance, reading with compassion about your life and with pleasure about your style of writing, I feel shabby to remain mute.
My heart is full of sympathy for you and I would be very happy to have you here in my beautiful house and fairy garden in sunny Florida whenever you need a little rest. You will be welcome any time.
Love and gratitude from Gerdi
thank you for this blog and for the work you do. reading this today helped me remember why i started my blog in the first place, and why i love to write. i put a link on my blog to your page and look forward to reading more.
with thanks and warm wishes~~